This week has been really stupid for me. On May 31st I thought I would finally get into my mood that I usually do each summer.

You lose weight, and fast.
It doesn't matter how you do it either.

And that is basically what I tell myself. Even if I will be lying there between my thirty minute breaks going "this will never help me" I still get up and work my ass off.

So anyway, Monday was alright. I managed to eat about 1,000 calories and I worked off 600 of it. I think that is pathetic because I wanted to actually work off a thousand, but I guess pathetic things should be given to pathetic people.

Actually Tuesday did help me very well. I had to run the mile in gym, so overall I worked off 700 calories and ate about 2,000. I ate too much I know, but I can't help myself. Once I start eating, I really can't stop.

Wednesday was amazing though. I had this assembly/trip and I had to miss Lunch for it. That would probably be the best thing possible for me. You want to know why? Because then I CAN'T eat, I don't have a choice. If I could choose whether or not I ate or not, I would choose I can't and then be done with it. So, that day I ate 700 calories, and burned off 200.

And now, today is Thursday and everything was horrible. Of course they have cheese steak for lunch, of course my friend convinces me to go in line and get one, of course I don't want to work out, and of course my mother makes tacos. I really wish I could just die right now. I feel horrible, I am horrible. I really don't deserve this food, it is too good for me.